YOUTH WASTED ON THE YOUNG BUT NOTALGIA IS THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.

The Ballad of Jack and Rose Part 1 — Rose

I was old when I was born
And I get younger with age
Wisdom does not occur to me
Outside the borders I feel safe

He has taught me everything
I already knew but never thought to feel
Like being awakened from a dream
To a life even more surreal

I test his trust by calculated moments of silence
Pretending to be strong by exposing my weakness
The wind once lifted my skirt to show my thighs
With nature there are no accidents or disguise

He is a man full of tenderness and pain
Like a scared boy looking for his mother
On his deathbed he will contemplate
What he wants to be when he grows up

Words are my unforgivable sin
When I speak it’s like breaking the Lenten fast
Actions can ruin a good first impression
If I hold still long enough I make-believe it will last

I am the wine he drinks himself to sleep
The coffee he sips to offset the hangover
He is like a burger the size of my head
I consume him, he feeds me, mutual love

Am I his sister or lover?
His daughter or mother?
We live in a world outside the world
Within our hearts, together

We are all icons
Written in God’s image and likeness
Some appreciate the beauty of the paint
Others condemn the wood and brush

He sees the divine imprint
And it makes me angry
Because I feel guilty
Knowing he is right to think the best of me

It would be so much easier
To simply disappoint him
And control my own fate
By kissing a boy or even a woman

I long to feel his speech
Smell, intonation, and manner of making pauses
How it feels to held by him
My hands caressing his back like scaling a rock

He rolls his cigarettes slowly and carefully
I impulsively write in my diary
“I will kill you if you die before me,
If I die before you, please pray for me.”

Everything is for salvation
And according to the strength
We can’t fully know the will of God
My girlish mind calculates it like a random choice

Am I his sister or lover?
His daughter or mother?
We live in a world outside the world
Within our hearts, together



10 May 2019
8:58 PM