But this time will be different

We write
The narrative 
We wish to live in
Like an obituary 
We want people 
To remember us by

We kid ourselves 
Into thinking 
We can reinvent ourselves
Like children 
Dreaming of what they will be 
When they grow up

The truth is 
No matter many times 
We kill ourselves
Our past 
Will survive 
All suicides, pseudonyms, and publicity stunts 

We can’t 
Outrun ourselves
But we can stop 
And wait 
For the march of pigs 
To pass by

Salvation is gained 
More through our losses
Than our wins
Fear
Is the beginning of wisdom
But not the end

To be 
Born again 
We must first die
And I 
Have died 
A thousand deaths

Only 
To resurrect 
As the same person 
Again
And
Again

But 
This time 
Will be different 
Because 
I will not
Expect it to be

—

12/21/2024
7:00PM